Thursday, May 8, 2008

What's So Special About Special K?

WARNING: This is a rant.

Commercials seem to be getting stupider and stupider... even the ones that started with a funny premise are now just tired and ready for extinction. I mean, have you seen all the recent Geico commercials? I hate to say it, but the gecko's wearing on my nerves (for the record, I still find the cavemen sufficiently amusing). I think if Steve Irwin were still around (god bless him), he would have made a much better lizard-stalker than that old British guy.

Ok, one of the most irritating advertisements on tv right now is that damn Special K commercial where a mom finds herself tempted to scarf the remains of a bowl of brownie batter while cooking with her son. Instead of indulging in what is a perfectly normal impulse, this skinny little waif of a Wysteria Lane-wannabe heads for the cupboard and pulls out her secret weapon (no, not that, you gutterbrain) -- a box of Special K, with chocolate pieces inside! She then proceeds to chow down on a nice li'l bowl of the stuff, a smile of smug satisfaction on her finely-featured face. I have several problems with this scenario:

1. In the real world, there ain't no way in hell some measly pile of cornstarch is gonna hold up against a big ol' bowl of fresh brownie batter. I don't care if it's Super-Duper-Extra-Insanely-Rich-Death-By-Chocolate Cornstarch. Still no dice.

2. C'mon, if you're already that skinny, why be so frickin' paranoid about the 1/16 of a pound you might add to your waistline by consuming an ounce of chocolate glop? Geez, live a little. (Note to those of you making these infuriating commercials: use a woman who actually LOOKS like she's trying to watch her weight. Sightly less hypocritical and a little more believable, don'cha think?)

3. As Peter Griffin said, "What's so special about Special K? What ever happened to Regular K?"

Sigh... you know who I really miss? The Capitol One pillagers! The Viking raiders who had to find new jobs because there was nothing left to pillage? That was some funny shit right there... Hey Capitol One, how about an encore! :D

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